Since February is the month of love I felt the urge to sit down and share once again….

I’ve been deaf since age 2 and bought up in a hearing world. I have struggled. I still struggle. My hearing loss is severe to profound, but that is neither here nor there. Growing up in a hearing world, it was ME that had to adapt, not the world around me.

So I sit here now, older and having lived “in between” for most of my life. I have huge affinity with both the hearing and the Deaf world. As I reached adulthood, I sought out sign language classes – incredibly expensive even back then! Unfortunately, at that time my world was only a hearing world so I had no one to sign with. Like any language, it takes patience and practice. So I forgot much of it. I loved it though. Here was a language I could learn with no disadvantage (unlike spoken / listening languages such as French as a child, then later on German for exams at school – which I was hopeless at and incidentally gave me no use whatsoever in adulthood!) I digress…..

As I’ve got older and leaned in more to my d/Deaf self, I have accepted my limits, rather than beating myself up. In my hearing world I am well versed in ‘blagging’ my way through life, lipreading and generally doing my best to fit in. Most people don’t realise my level of hearing loss, even after they notice the hearing aids. It’s a common misconception because I ‘cope’ and also because there is a perception that hearing aids fix your hearing.  In my deaf world I have also met some wonderful d/Deaf and hard of hearing people. I am just me. I don’t ‘do’ labels – my identity is my business (and because still to this day others seem to apply a label to me according to whoever I’m talking/trying to sign to!)  However, it is undeniable the affinity that I have with d/Deaf people who have lived experience of the same deaf issues, barriers, mishaps and deaf gains. Whether they’re able to sign or not.

I have also experienced behaviour that I don’t share affinity with. I didn’t choose to be deaf. I didn’t choose to grow up in a hearing world. I didn’t choose to never have deaf friends or role models growing up or be able to sign very well (although I’m still always trying!)  My lack of exposure to Deaf Culture growing up was not a conscious snub. Indeed there are many people who lose hearing later in life for a myriad of reasons and I support them all. Signer or no signer. I love BSL and often take opportunities to practice a little when I can – although I’m still extremely basic, some random words jump out from my memory as if I learned it yesterday! People have often confided in me that because they don’t sign (yet/ever) they feel they are not welcome. So being ‘in between’ I am familiar with both sides of the fence.

What is amazing is when Deaf (signers) embrace and welcome the hard of hearing. And the hard of hearing reach out to embrace and learn signing. Even just a little (practice makes perfect!). Some people will never have an encounter with someone who signs and given the commitment it takes (and money!) it’s understandable that it is not always taken up, despite them having a level of hearing loss.

But we are all people. Human beings who can do amazing things. Together. Aren’t we all just trying to get the most out of life? There is no need for separation and actually a huge amount to be achieved by coming together. We all have a lot more in common than is credited. I feel extremely blessed to have personal friends who are so diverse in their d/Deafness and I urge everyone to consider being open, expand your mind and forget the labels when you’re meeting someone. There can be challenges in communication, but these can be overcome in various ways these days and with a little understanding and accommodation. Imagine what we’re going to achieve together! More signers everywhere! More people who have hearing loss, perhaps later in life, feeling more welcomed and supported. Let’s have less people asking ‘What is the difference between deaf and Deaf and/or Hard of Hearing’ and have more people asking ‘How can get involved / meet others / participate’. Sharing, supporting and accommodating is truly the way forwards for everyone.

Whether you proudly identify as Deaf, deaf or hard of hearing (or similar) – we all have much we can do to help each other. So let’s do that and celebrate our different Dynamics together with acceptance and love.

Wishing all our community a Happy Valentines on the 14th!